


Infatuated

by o_b_s_e_s_s_e_d



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Poetry, angst I guess?, i hope you like poetry..., i promise its not bad!!!, poem, you should totally read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 09:30:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12407712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o_b_s_e_s_s_e_d/pseuds/o_b_s_e_s_s_e_d
Summary: This is a poem I recently had written and would just like to share it out with you people.





	Infatuated

**Author's Note:**

> Hello oh-so-kind soul who decided to click on something that said "Original Work." I am happy that you decided to give me a try. This poem is about a guy that I like who...doesn't like me back. It's pretty rough. I'm totally okay though like, mentally, if anyone was worried. This poem may seem excessive but, it's me I guess? I like being poetic and deep, although I'm not sure how deep this is.   
> Anyways.  
> Please enjoy and let me know what you think through comments or kudos!

All it took was a glance,

A smile,

A laugh

And I was hooked.

_ Infatuated _

 

Like a drug,

I come back every day.

He doesn’t know it’s him.

He doesn’t even know me.

He doesn’t know I’m  _ infatuated. _

 

I “know” him…

I know his favorite band.

I know his birthday.

I know who his girlfriend is

Who his “exes” are

Who he’s taken to dances.

I know what sport he plays

I know who his friends are

(I’m not one of them).

I know what instrument he plays,

I know he’s smart...

I also know he doesn’t love me back.

I know I’m  _ infatuated. _

 

He doesn’t understand these feelings

That slither

These thoughts

That run wild.

The tears 

That I shed at night

The knives 

That shred me from the inside out.

He doesn’t know the cage 

That I’m living in-aka my brain.

I desperately grab the thick iron bars and shake.

My hands are bleeding and raw, my throat

Hurts from my screeches.

But one more accidental look in those ocean deep eyes

And I’m back under again,

Eyes screw shut as I try to harness the mind that’s going insane, to

Block the  _ infatuation. _

 

He says something

Anything

to Anyone

I write everything that comes out of that mouth

On my heart.

Everything gets poured into my diary pages-

It’s a shrine for him… 

It’s pathetic.

But who can blame me?

I store away every move he makes

I have his laugh memorized

(And in my dreams I’ve memorized the feel of his arms around me, too)

My brain is hardwired to

Force my eyes to scan the halls for him.

Hardwired 

To be

_ Infatuated _

 

I see him

I see him with  _ her _

Kisses her forehead

Puts an arm around her shoulders.

My vision goes red with rage

Hands curling into fists

I pinch my lips shut,

But then my shoulders slump in defeat.

I add more stitches to the gash in my heart

Before I bleed out again.

I add one more band-aid to the bullet wound in my heart

Before I bleed out again.

I hold the tears in

Before I bleed out again

Far too  _ infatuated _

 

Every song I hear leads back to him

Every word that’s sung

Sings a part of my life

His face appears

Verse after verse

I wish for him on every 11:11

I lie awake every night

My  _ infatuated _ brain refuses to turn off.

 

Even when I’m tired.

I’m so tired

From fighting,

Fighting a fight I already lost.

Desperately grasping a thread that

Doesn’t even exist.

I’m falling far

Far

Far

Far away.

I don’t even know who I am anymore,

And neither does anybody else;

I have no identity.

My mind splits apart

Then crashes together when he’s around.

A fleeting thought of him

And I’m lost

I’m digging my own grave,

Deeper and deeper.

 

But I know I need him.

He’s my soulmate-

I feel it inside me.

I need him to know me,

I need him to talk to me

Give me more of his smile

Of his eyes,

God, those eyes,

Those eyes I could get drunk on.

 

Every molecule of my body

Screams to be with him.

I need him to know…

Know what though?

“I love you”?

Lies.

I don’t love him.

I know what love is, and it’s not  _ this. _

I don’t know what  _ this _ is.

It’s insanity.

It’s death.

It’s  _ infatuation _

**Author's Note:**

> I also just realized that it says "The knives that cut me from the inside out." I do not mean literal knifes-it is figurative language. I repeat-I do not mean literal knives. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
